Chorus

Holy Reason! sacred Nous! Thou that hast for ever parted From the Cambridge Senate House, Make, O make us valiant hearted! Wisdom, still residing here, Calm our mind and chase our fear While with wild discordant clamour On our College gate they hammer!

[Confused Noise without.]

Hemich. a. Horrid things! I really wonder how they ever dared to come, When they know to base Non-Placets that we're always Not At Home.

Hemich. B. 'Tis a national dishonour: 'tis the century's disgrace.

Hemich. a. If the College rules allowed it, I should like to scratch their face.

Hemich. B. Never mind! a time is coming when despite of all their Dons We will sack the hall of Jesus, and enjoy the wealth of John's!

Hemich. a. Vengeance! let us face the foe-man, boldly bear the battle's brunt, With our Placets to assist us and our chaperons in front!

[Alarums; Excursions--special trains for voters.]

(A violation of the rule "Ne pueros coram populo Medea trucidet" is about to commence, when--)

Enter APOLLO

(With apologies to Dr V-rr-ll for his profligate character.)

When all too deftly poets tie the knot And can't untwist their complicated plot, 'Tis then that comes by Jove's supreme decrees The useful theos apo mechanes. Rash youths! forbear ungallantly to vex Your fellow students of the softer sex! Ladies! proud leaders of our culture's van, Crush not too cruelly the reptile Man! Or by experience you, as now, will learn Th' eternal maxim's truth, that e'en a worm will turn.

from the Greek as follows: "Pheu"--Phi, epsilon, upsilon; "pheu"--phi, epsilon, upsilon.]

transliterated from the Greek as follows: the "ot" pairs--omicron (with the rough-breathing diacritical), tau; the trailing "i"--iota.]

Greek as follows: Nu, omicron, upsilon, sigma.]

transliterated from the Greek "alpha" and "Beta", respectively.]

transliterated from the Greek as follows: "theos"--theta, epsilon, omicron, sigma; "apo"--alpha, pi, omicron; "mechanes"--mu, eta, chi, alpha, nu, eta, sigma.]

QUADRIVIAD, ll. 1-51

Arma virosque cano: procul o, procul este profani: nescio mentiri: si quis mendacia quaerit in vespertinis quaerat mendacia chartis. me neque multo iterum Pharsalia sanguine tincta nec tam Larissa nuper fugitiva relicta Graecia percussit, quam Curia Municipalis Principis augusta dextra Cambrensis aperta, atque novae longis imbutae litibus aedes: omnia quae vobis canerem si tempus haberem aut spatium: sed non habeo, varias ob causas. nunc civilia bella viaeque cruore rubentes Musae sufficient et Quadrivialis Enyo. Nox erat et caeio fulgebat luna sereno desuper: in terris fulgebat Serica lampas plurima, et ornatis pendent vexilla fenestris. spectando gaudent cives: academica pubes palatur passim plateis aut ordine facto proruit ignavum cives pecus: omnia late laetitia magni praesentia Principis implet. Metropolitanae custos, Robertule, pacis, tu quoque laetus ades, nec dedignaris amice inter ridentem comis ridere popellum. ecce tamen Furiae Martini desuper arce dant belli signum: ruit undique vulgus ad arma: procuratores obsistunt subgraduatis, civibus iratis obsistunt subgraduati et cives illis: pacis custodibus, omnes. turba venit diris ultrix accincta bacillis: Metropolitani vecti per strata caballis proturbant cunctos, reliquos in carcere claudunt. Consiliarius en! Urbanus in occiput ipse percutitur nec scit quisnam cere comminuat brum: namque negant omnes, et adhuc sub judice lis est. quid Medicina viris jurisve peritia prodest, jurisconsultos dubio si jure coercent vincula, nec proprios arcet Medicina bacillos? heu pietas, heu prisca fides! neglectus alumnus Tutorem in vacua tristis desiderat aula: interea Tutor sub judice municipali litigat, et jurat nil se fecisse nefandum, obtestans divos: nec creditur obtestanti. quid referam versos equites iterumque reversos subgraduatorum pellentes agmina ferro, inque pavimentis equitantes undique turmas? proh pudor! o mores, o tempora! forsitan olim exercens operam curvo Moderator aratro inveniet mixtis capitum fragmenta galeris relliquias pugnae, et mentem mortalia tangent. me sacer Aegidius Musarum fana colentem aegide defendit, perque ignea tela, per hostes incolumem vexitque tuens rursusque revexit.