Vernal Verses

When early worms began to crawl, and early birds to sing, And frost, and mud, and snow, and rain proclaimed the jocund spring, Its all-pervading influence the Poet's soul obeyed-- He made a song to greet the Spring, and this is what he made:--

They sadly lacked enlightenment, our ancestors of old, Who used to suffer simply from an ordinary cold: But we, of Science' mysteries less ignorant by far, Have nothing less distinguished than a Bronchial Catarrh!

O when your head's a lump of lead and nought can do but sneeze: Whene'er in turn you freeze and burn, and then you burn and freeze:-- It does not mean you're going to die, although you think you are-- These are the primal symptoms of a Bronchial Catarrh.

And when you've taken drugs and pills, and stayed indoors a week, Yet still your chest with pain opprest will hardly let you speak: Amid your darksome miseries be this your guiding star-- 'Tis simply the remainder of a Bronchial Catarrh.

In various ways do various men invite misfortune's rods,-- Some row within their College boat,--some Logic read for Mods.: But oh! of all the human ills our happiness that mar I do not know the equal of a Bronchial Catarrh!