Fritz Can'T Furshtay

Seems like someting go wrong mit mine head Since de day ven I make de beeg fight, Und mine heart gets so heafy like lead Ven I dries some more bieces to write. Dot is vy I so seldom don't wrote 'Bout some tings dat vill happen to me Since dose shells, vot you call? get mine goat, Und I am only von left out of tree.

Dot Canadian feller, Von Krink, Ven I say, "nix furshtay" to his talk, He shoost tells me to take von more tink, Or already he'll knock off mine plock. Ven I tells him de tings dat he say I can't find dem in mine leetle book, Den he varn me to not get too gay Britty soon or he'll gif me de hook.

Den he say dat de Kaiser's a chump, Und his vorks dey vos shlipping a cog, Und his crown vill get trowed in de dump, For he put de whole vorld on de hog; Dot us Shermans vos all off our base Und already our goose vos cooked prown; Britty soon ourselves home ve can chase, Und den go avay back und sit down.

Vot he somedimes vould mean I don't know Ven he gifs me dis foolishness talk, If I ask him he say, "Shoost go slow, Mine dear Fritz, ven you're oudt for a valk." Dot is not like de English I shpoke, Vot I learn in de books I haf read. Den no vunder mine heart is near proke; Und Von Krink says dere's veels in mine head.