Conjugal Life

Ye wives and ye husbands, who both wish to see Your conjugal scenes from all skirmishes free, In this doth the secret of harmony lie, Ne'er begin a duet ev'n a half note too high. Ye ladies tho' vex'd your mild spirits may be, Yet, kindly beware of keen repartee; For peace's soft bosom those arrows must hit Which doubly are pointed with anger and wit. Ye husbands of argument, chiefly beware, That bane of good humour that frightens the fair, Where reason's soft tones soon in passions are drown'd, While happiness trembles, and flies from the sound. Oh! both have a care of all hasty replies, On hearing whose discord the bachelor cries, (While snugly he smiles on himself and his cat) 'The sharp notes of marriage are worse than the flat.' In unison sweet let your voices agree, While both are maintain'd in the natural key. Thus love shall beat time with a conjugal kiss, And your skirmish be only the skirmish of kiss.