Finale

Lawyers pay you with words, and fine ladies with vapours, Your parsons with preaching, and dancers with capers, Soldier's pay you with courage, and some with their lives, Some men with their fortunes, and some with their wives;

Some with fame, some with conscience, and many throw both in, Physicians with latin, and great men with nothing: I, not to be singular in such a throng, For your kindness pay you with the end of a song.

But pleading, engrossing, declaring, and vap'ring, And fighting, and hectoring, and dancing, and capering, And preaching, and swearing, and bullying—prescribing, And coaxing, and wheedling, and feeing, and bribing,

And every professional art of hum-drumming Is clearly in some sort a species of humming; Humming!—nay, take me with you, the term's very strong, But I only meant humming the end of a song.

For all who this evening have paid me attention I would I had language of some new invention My thanks to return, for where's the expression Can describe of your kindness the grateful impression?

May every desire of your hearts be propitious, Be lasting success the result of your wishes, Unimpair'd be your joys, your lives happy and long! And now I am come to the end of my song.