Jacky and the Cow

There were Farmer Thrasher, and he had a cow, And gammer were very fond on un, And they'd a son Jacky that made a fine bow, So they sent un a prentice to London.

Jacky's master a barber and hair-dresser were, Than some squires 'cod he thought unself bigger, In the day through the town he would dress and cut hair, And dressed out at night—cut a figure.

To ape Jacky's master, were all his delight, The soap suds and razor both scorning, He's been took't by the nose by the same fop at night, That he took't by the nose in the morning.

Now to see the cow moan, would have made a cat laugh, Her milk were his food late and early, And even if Jacky had been her own calf, She could not ha loved un more dearly.

She moaned, and she moaned, nor knew what she did ail, To heart so she took this disaster, At last roaming about, some rogues cut off her tail, And then sent her back to her master.

Here's the kiaw come home, Gammer, come bring out the pail, Poor creature I'ze glad we have found her, Cried Dame, ten't our kiaw, she's got never a tail, Here Roger goo take her and pound her.

'Tis our kiaw, but you zee she's been maimed by somebrute, Why, dame, thou'rt a vool—give me patience; So to squabbling they went—when to end the dispute, Came home Jacky to see his relations.

His spencer he sported, his hat round he twirled, As whistling a tune he came bolt in, And bedocked, and belopped, wounds, he look'd all the world Like trimmed bantums, or magpies a moulting.

Oh dear! 'tis our Jacky, come bring out the ale, So Gammer fell skipping around him, Our Jacky, why, dom't, he's got never a tail— Here, Roger, go take un, and pound un.

'Tis the kick, I say, old one, so I brought it down, Wore by Jemmies so neat, and so spunky; Ah, Jacky, thou went'st up a puppy to town, And now thee bee'st come back a monkey.

Gammer stormed, Gaffer swore, Jacky whistled, and now, 'Twas agreed, without any more passion, To take Jacky in favour as well as the cow, Because they were both in the fashion.