THE BARKING BARBER, Or, NEW Bow Wow. A comi-satyri-poetical lecture on blockheads, by Pasquin Shaveblock…

Ye gents, give ear to me I pray, I am a barking barber, The best accommodations have, Keen razors and hot lather: Pray walk into my noted shop, I shave as clean as any; And when I've done it to your mind, Will charge you but a penny. Bow, wow, wow, I am a barking barber, Bow, wow, wow.

Ye ragged pates, your hair I'll crop, And dress it vastly pretty; Or if your blocks are bare, walk in, I warrant I can fit ye, With bag, or que, or long pig-tail, Or bushy wig, or grizzled, So well bepowder'd, clean, and white, And eke so nicely frizzled. Bow, wow, &c.

My shop, well furnish'd out with blocks, Becomes an exhibition, Of heads of ev'ry age and kind, And every condition: A lawyer's head without a quirk, Without chicane a proctor's; A lady's head without a tongue, Without a nostrum doctor's. Bow, wow, &c.

A poet's head without a rhyme, A wit's to without punning; Without a crotchet fidler's head, A jockey's without cunning; A cuckold's head devoid of horns, His wife's without invention; A barber's head without his brains, And others I could mention. Bow, wow, &c.

And let none of the wicked wits Despise my occupation; The greater always shaves the less, In ev'ry rank and station: The rich will ever shave the poor, The lawyers, an't please ye, Well lathers you with promises, Then shaves you mighty easy. Bow, wow, &c.

And shavers clean, I trow there are, Of every profession; But pardon now, my customers, This whimsical digression; And walk into my noted shop, I shave as clean as any; And when I've done it to your mind, Will charge you but a penny. Bow, wow, &c.