The Petit Maitre

From Paris I come and I landed at Dover, I was but tre hours in my passage over, And ven I come dere, for London I vas running, Where de people I sound vas for the too much de cunning.

And ven I come dare, oh dear me vat a noise, sir, It vas noting at all but "a Fox my brave boys, sir;" I say to dem all pray vat is de matter, Fray vat is de reason for dis dam noise and clatter.

Den von step up to me and he say you dam dog, sir, Go home to you country and eat up you frog, sir, And he hit me von lick vid such a dam spite, sir, It gar entre nous it vas not vast polite, sir.

I did not much like in dis way to be beat, sir, But I did not tink it worth while to fight in destreet, sir, Den von step up to me and he hit me on the nose, sir, But I did not choose for to dirty my clothes, sir.

Den I go to von house and I ask for some drink, sir, And I say to de landlord, pray vat you do tink, sir, Dare be von dam blackguard he use me very ill, sir, I vill have him to de justice, begar dat I will, sir.

Den he bring me some liquor 'twas much better den sack, sir, It vas made of de vater, sugar, lemon and de rack, sir, But I believe it vas noting but de contradiction, For it make in mine head such a damned confusion.

Now dis be de drink, if I understand right, sir, Which make de dam Englis to swear and to fight, sir, But in my poor stomach it make such a rout, sir, Begar I vas tink it vou'd punch my poor guts out, sir.

Den he bring me some ting vas made in von plate, sir, I say to de landlord pray vat you call dat, sir, Why dat be de beef buried in de pye crust, sir, Oh! begar I vas eat till I tink I should have burst, sir,

Now in England you beef & you drink it be good, sir, But I tink you dam fist and you gun draw de blood, sir, Which make it so true vat de Englisman vill say, sir, When de French see de blood begar dey all run away, sir.