When I was a poor, little innocent…

When I was a poor, little innocent boy, About sixteen or eighteen years old; At Susan and Marian I cast a sheep's eye, But Susan was saucy and Marian was shy; So I flirted with Flora, with Cecily and Di, But they too, were frumpish and cold. Says Diego, one day, what ails you I pray? I fetch'd a deep sigh—Diego, says I, Women hate me.—Oh! how I adore 'em. Pho; nonsense, said he, never mind it my lad, Hate you, then hate them boy, come never be sad, Here, take a good sup of the jorum.

If they're foolish and mulish, refuse you, abuse you, No longer pursue, They'll soon buckle too When they find they're neglected, Old maids unprotected, Ah! then 'tis their turn to woo; But bid them defiance, and form an alliance, With the mirth-giving, care-killing jorum.

I took his advice, but was sent to the war, And soon I was call'd out to battle; I heard the drums beat, Oh! how great was my fear, I wish'd myself sticking, aye, up to each ear In a horse-pond—and skulk'd away into the rear, When the cannon and bombs 'gan to rattle, Said I to myself, you're a damn'd foolish elf, Sebastian keep up, then I took a good sup. Turkish villains, shall we fly before 'em; What, give it up tamely and yield ourselves slaves, To a pack of rabscallions, vile infidel knaves, Then I kiss'd the sweet lips of my jorum.

No, hang 'em, we'll bang 'em, and rout 'em, and scout 'em, If we but pursue, They must buckle too: Ah! then without wonder, I heard the loud thunder, Of cannon and musquetry too, But bid them defiance, being firm in alliance, With the courage-inspiring jorum.