Up Culture'S Hill

(The confession of a club lady.)

The path up Culture's Hill is steep, And weary is the way, With very little time for sleep And none at all for play.

She that this toilsome task essays Must never bat an eye, But keep her firm, unwavering gaze Forever fixed on high.

For should she ever careless grow, And let her glances stray Down to the shallow vale below, Where Pleasure's Court holds sway--

Lured by the thrice forbidden fruit, She'd lose her equipoise, And like a wayward Pleiad shoot Down to forbidden joys.

I've been but short time on the road, My courage still is strong; Yet often have I felt the goad That hurries me along.

I've fallen over Maeterlinck, And bumped myself to tears, Burne-Jones's pictures made me blink, And Wagner hurts my ears.

I've stumbled over Ibsen humps And over Rembrandt rocks, I've got some fierce Debussy bumps, Some awful Nietsche knocks.

I'm wearied by the ceaseless quest, I'm wayworn and footsore. I've Culture till I cannot rest-- Yet still I climb for more.

But oh, when all is done and said, Upon some manly breast I'd like to lay my tired head And take a good long rest.