They say The Lion and The Lizard keep

They say The Lion and The Lizard keep The Record for Hill-climbing, rough and steep; I do not know those Makes. I’ll hunt them up. I’d like to Buy one, if they’re not too Cheap.

You know, my Friends, with what a Brave Carouse I put a Second Mortgage on my House So I could buy a Great Big Touring-Car, And run down Chickens, Dogs, and even Cows!

For it my Future Income did I owe, And with mine own Hand wrought to make it go; And this was all the Wisdom that I reap’d— “We cost like Thunder and like Lightning go!”

And those “Accessories” Advertisements That offer you Supplies at slight Expense; You read them over, and they always make Your own Belongings look like Thirty Cents.

Look to the Blowing Horn before us—“Lo,” “Gaily,” it says, “Into the World I blow!” Behold its lovely Bulb, and Sweet-toned Reed,— (The most Expensive in the Garden Show!)

I had to have a Snakeskin Auto-Coat, A Leather Foot-Muff, lined with Thibet Goat; A Steering-Apron, and a Sleeping-Bag; For these things Help a Motorer to Mote.