Under A New Charter

Hello! Come in! I called you, Cupid, To take this box. Handle with care! Look out! don’t be so careless, Stupid; I’d have you know my heart’s in there.

Take it at once, boy, to Miss Kitty, And say it is a valentine. How happy she’ll look, and how pretty, When she discovers it is mine!

Tell her for her my heart is yearning, And then, unless my judgment errs, By the same messenger returning I rather think she’ll send me hers.

What, Cupid, are you back already? And bringing me Miss Kitty’s heart? Open it quickly! Stay, be steady! What’s this? A neatly printed chart!

“No spaces left at my disposal— Possibly some vacated soon; But I have filed your kind proposal. Come up and call some afternoon.”

And here her heart is designated— What seas of dreams! what flowery isles! The boundaries all distinctly stated, And measured by a scale of smiles.

A large tract’s given to her poodle; A smaller one contains her cat; Here is the claim of Lord Fitznoodle; Here her expensive picture-hat.

Here I observe her mother’s quarters; This large compartment is her dad’s; Here Revolutionary Daughters, And here her clubs and freaks and fads.

Here is enshrined her baby cousin, And here that Count with whom she flirts; Here are male tenants by the dozen (They’re only friends, so she asserts).

This corner’s occupied by Irving, This by her pearl and turquoise pin; Although I know I am deserving, I don’t see how I can get in.