La Scala Santa

"Robusti sono i fatti." - Discorso del Terremoto, del S. Alessandro Sardo. Venetia, A.D. 1586. IN San Gianni Lateran, Dey've cot a flight of shdairs, More woonderful ash nefer vas, As Latin pooks declares. For you kits your sins forgifen, If you glimes dem knee py knee; It's such a gitten up a stairs, I nefer yet did see. Now as Breitmann vas a vaitin Among some demi reps, Ascensionem expectans, To see dem glime de steps, Dere came a sinful scoffer, Who his mind had firmly set To go dem holy sdairs afoot, Und do it on a bet! Boot shoost as he vas startet, To make dis sassy go, Der Breitmann caught him py de neck, Und tripped him off his toe! Und den dere come de skience, A la prenez gardez vous; For he bung his eye and bust his shell, Und shplit his noshe in dwo. De briests vere so astonish, To see him lam de man, Dat dey shvore a holy miracle Vas vork by Breitemann. Says Breitmann, "I'm a heretic, But dis you may pe bound, No chap shall mock relishious dings Vhile I'm a bummin round. "Und you owes me really noding, For as I'll plainly show, At last I've found out someding Vot I alfays vant to know. Und now dat I have found it, In de newspapers I'll brag: Evviva! Ho trovato, Vot means a Scala-Wag."