Six Vile Verbs

When I see on a poster A programme which “features” CHARLIE CHAPLIN and other Delectable creatures, I feel just as if Someone hit me a slam Or a strenuous biff On the mid diaphragm.

When I read in a story, Though void of offences, That somebody “glimpses” Or somebody “senses,” The chord that is struck Fills my bosom with ire, And I’m ready to chuck The whole book in the fire.

When against any writer It’s urged that he “stresses” His points, or that something His fancy “obsesses,” In awarding his blame Though the critic be right, Yet I feel all the same I could shoot him at sight.

But (worst of these horrors) Whenever I read That somebody “voices” A national need, As the Bulgars and Greeks Are abhorred by the Serb, So I feel toward the freaks Who employ this vile verb.