The Submerged Leader

(February, 1917)

What is Master WINSTON doing? What new paths is he pursuing? What strange broth can he be brewing?

Is he painting, by commission, Portraits of the Coalition For the R.A. exhibition?

Is he Jacky-obin or anti? Is he likely to “go Fanti,” Or becoming shrewd and canty?

Is he in disguise at Kovel, Living in a moujik’s hovel, Penning a tremendous novel?

Does he run a photo-play show? Or in sæva indignatio Is he writing for HORATIO?

Fired by the divine afflatus Does he weekly lacerate us, Like a Juvenal renatus?

As the great financial purist, Will he smite the sinecurist Or emerge as a Futurist?

Is he regularly sending HAIG and BEATTY screeds unending, Good advice with censure blending?

Is he ploughing, is he hoeing? Is he planting beet, or going In for early ’tato-growing?

Is he writing verse or prosing, Or intent upon disclosing Gifts for musical composing?

Is he lecturing to flappers? Is he tunnelling with sappers? Has he joined the U-boat trappers?

Or, to petrify recorders Of events within our borders, Has he taken Holy Orders?

Is he well or ill or middling? Is he fighting, is he fiddling?— He can’t only be thumb-twiddling.

These are merely dim surmises, But experience advises Us to look for weird surprises.

* * * * *

Thus we summed the situation When Sir HEDWORTH MEUX’ oration Brought about a transformation.

Lo! the Blenheim Boanerges On a sudden re-emerges And, to calm the naval gurges, FISHER’S restoration urges.