The Ballad Of The Bumptious Boy

"Those crackers are lighted! Be careful! They're going off--_don't_ stand so near!" But the Bumptious Boy heeded no warning, And this is what happened. O dear!

"The ice is thin," said the Policeman. "I advise you, my lad, not to go." But the Bumptious Boy thought _he_ knew better, And skated off proudly. And so--

"Our donkey will not let you ride him-- He's sure to give you a spill!" But the Bumptious Boy only pooh-poohed them, And would not believe them until--

"Look out there! That branch will not hold you! Don't try any higher to climb!" But the Bumptious Boy laughed and climbed higher: That laugh was his last for some time.

Then during a long convalescence The Bumptious Boy thoughtfully thought Of the painful misfortunes and troubles That he on himself oft had brought.

Oh! the cock was first and he loudly crew, And his wings he flapped: "Cock a _doo_dle _doo_!" Then the big dog barked with a "Bow-wow-wow!" And "Moo-_oo_! Moo-_oo_!" bellowed out the cow.

And the pigs were as noisy as they could be With their "Umph, umph, umph!" and their "Wee, wee, wee!" While the lambkins bleated "Ma-_a_! Ma-_a_!" And the sheep replied with a "Ba-a-_a_!"

Then the white geese all, with their necks stretched long And their "_S-s-s!_" joined the noisy throng. And the sleek old ducks, dressed in green and black, Added more noise still as they called "Quack! Quack!"

"Cut-cut _dah_ cut-cut! Cut-cut _dah_ cut!" cried All the hens as they looked at their eggs with pride. But "Cluck-_cluck_! Cluck-_cluck_!" called the old black hen Till she heard "Peep, peep!" from her chicks again.

What a noise it was!--from the cock that crew, From the dog, the cow, and the piggies, too, From the lambs and sheep, from the geese and ducks, From the chicks and hens with their peeps and clucks!

But the baby heard all the sounds with glee. The more loud the noise, why! the more pleased he; And he clapped and shouted and laughed aloud As he heard the noise of the farmyard crowd.

Whenever a drive with the donkey I take, I see the big V that his slanting ears make, And words that begin with a V come to mind, Describing his conduct, no matter what kind.

If Barney is sulky and stubborn and slow, Goes poking along or refuses to go, Or if he is frisky and capers and kicks, Or upsets the cart, or does other bad tricks, I say 'tis no wonder he wears a big V, So Vexing and Vicious a Villain is he!

But when the dear fellow, so pretty and strong, In meek or gay humor trots nimbly along, The V seems to stand for the Virtues he shows, The Vim and Velocity with which he goes-- Our Veteran donkey, more Valued each year, The Vigorous, Valiant, Vivacious old dear!