Heinie The Hostler

He's not very handsome or clever, He's slow in his wits--and he's fat, And yet he's a soldier of Uncle Sam's-- Now, whaddy you know about that?

We always called him Dummy, And thought he wouldn't fight; We sneered at him and jeered at him-- He was--and is--a sight! His feet are big, his head is small, His German blood is slow, But at the call for volunteers, Why, didn't Heinie go?

He's workin' as a hostler (He used to be a clerk) He don't enjoy his job, that boy, But Heinie is no shirk. "This is my country just as much As it is yours," says he; "I'm gonna do what I can do To keep it mine!... You'll see!

"My father, he come over here To get away from things; He couldn't abide on th' other side-- Aristocrats and kings. The Stars and Stripes mean liberty, I've always understood; So gimme the right to work--or fight-- I betcha I'll make good.

"As a chambermaid to horses In a battery that's new, The work is rough and mean enough And wouldn't appeal to you; But I've got my place and I'll stick to it-- Can any man do more? I've never had a chance, like dad, To prove myself before."

Perhaps he won't get a commission; Perhaps he is dull, and all that; But somehow I feel that he's better than me-- Now whaddy you know about that?