The Neighbors

For years and years I practiced-- Tum-tum, tum-tum, tee-tum! Pounding up and down the scale, White keys, black keys-- They all fell beneath my faithful hammering; And then--my pretty neighbor across the street Put in a player-piano that could tear a hole Through classics that I'd never learned even to dent! I was mad--hopping mad-- But I got even with her. (She was studying for the operatic stage.) I bought a phonograph--cheap-- And some records--not cheap. They made her gargling voice Sound like an imitation with a small i. Then we both laughed--and quit our exercises. To-day she's a moving picture actress, Using her big eyes in a financially-effective way, While I write things in prose or jingle Or verse that is free-on-bail. Sometimes I get by with it; and Sometimes she doesn't spoil a film-- Isn't the public lucky that we didn't Stick to our callings?