Fable XXII. the Lawyer and Fox

It happen'd once, a son of law, Who kept three market towns in awe; Who in his most important look, All LITTLETON convey'd and COOKE; (Tho' neither had he ever read, To furnish out a tricking head; For Nature gave sufficient art To play the petti-fogging part;) One Golden Rule who practis'd long, "To do no right—nor suffer wrong"— Resolv'd to war against the FOX, Who nightly stole his feather'd flocks.

Shall REYNARD, cried old Nisi Prius Not plunder only, but defy us; Shall such a thief my poultry fleece, My Ducks, my Turkies, Hens and Geese? Nay more, last night, his maw to cram, He robb'd me of a fatted Lamb; I'm now resolv'd to set a trap, And should I catch the slipp'ry chap, With oaken towel first I'll bang him, And then, upon a gibbet hang him.

The FOX, (so matters came to pass) Who with strict zeal kept MICHAELMAS, By eating GOOSE—upon its Eve Went slyly laughing in his sleeve, To pick up one—oh harden'd sinner— For his, and spouse's annual dinner.

The morning clock with drowsy tone, Upon its bell had just struck one; In dreamless balmy slumbers blest, Ev'n village curs were lull'd to rest; No longer flow'd the murm'ring rill, Which serv'd to work a neighb'ring mill; Love, wakeful God, no vigil kept, And HODGE, forgetting MOPSY, slept; Silence and darkness most profound Enwrapp'd the fearless village round; When REYNARD reach'd the LAWYER'S yard, And ran direct (O Fortune hard!) Where lay the trap; there found, too late, The iron grasp of cruel fate; He struggled vainly to get loose, And curs'd his foolish Love of GOOSE.

The morn at length, in saffron robe, Came gayly smiling o'er the globe; Attended by the jocund hours, And all her vivifying pow'rs; When from his roost descending low, Sir CHANTICLEER prepar'd to crow, The captive saw; when in dismay He scream'd, and wing'd his fearful way—

Dame PARTLETT heard the dire alarm, Sure signal of approaching harm; Obey'd the well known, faithful sound, And like its echo flutter'd round: Ducks, Geese and Turkies join'd the cry, With such prevailing energy, That from his bed the LAWYER rose, With haste, which disregarded cloaths; And ran directly to the place, Where culprit lay, in doleful case; Whom when he saw with raptur'd eyes, I've caught thee then at last! he cries; And will myself, both judge and jury, Let loose upon thee all my fury.

Thou murd'rous rogue, infernal thief, Of all consummate villains chief; For nothing that I know of good, But basely shedding helpless blood; A ling'ring fate shall stop thy breath, And give thee, inch by inch, to death.

Poor REYNARD heard the dreadful doom, And wish'd the LAWYER in his room; He trembled, yet resolv'd to die With most heroic dignity; And now, beyond the verge of Hope, He gave his tongue its utmost scope.

Shall I, he cried, sustain abuse, Nor let, tho' bound, resentment loose? Be silent while a monster talks, Because upon two legs he walks? And boasts of something, Reason nam'd, Which all his actions have disclaim'd: A monster, shameful to his kind, To ev'ry honest feeling blind; With tongue of guile, with heart of flint, And soul of villainy the mint.

What you, Sir LAWYER, thieving call, In FOXES is no crime at all; Impell'd by Nature, we pursue Our destin'd game with honest view; To satisfy—and what more right? The urgent calls of appetite; Nor seek with avaricious skill, For sake of sordid gain to kill: Besides, no FOX e'er robs his brother, But mankind plunder one another; And such as you are doubly curst, Of all the human robbers worst; Who find in ev'ry case a flaw, And JUSTICE put to flight, by LAW.

If then of right you make a plea, For partial sentence pass'd on me; Resign at once your ill got pelf, And much more justly hang yourself.