Song LXXXVIII. Beef Steak Club

Draw the Cork, the Cloth's drawn, —a Toast to the KING, I presume it is meet, after meat we shou'd sing, For thus prescribes Galen;—"Life's Health to prolong, "Take Dinner's digestive, a Glass, and a Song." To him the Diplomists their judgements resign, So fiat mixturam, 'tis Music and Wine.

Old Homer, who, Shakespeare-like, all Nature knew, Does honour to Beef, and to Beef-eaters too; He sings, that the Greeks, by whom Troy Town was sell'd, In fighting and eating, all Nations excell'd; And he, for the Day, who was Hero in Chief, Had a Double Proportion, or Premium of Beef.

It was Cacus (some say) tho' that's not Orthodox, 'Twas Milo of Crotos first knock'd down an Ox; He invited all friends to his Beef-eating Wake, But first, on Turf Altar, he offer'd a Stake. The Aetherials regal'd on the odour that 'rose, Says Epicure Jove, such a Club we'll compose.

Then call'd out for Vulcan, the God, limping, came, And, ogling behind him, attended his Dame; Each Deity seem'd more inclin'd to her Mess, Than to dine on the best dish Olympus cou'd dress. Jove silence proclaims, his curls awfully shakes, And on Ida establish'd a Club of BEEF STAKES.

When Juno, that instant, a female peal rung, In Jove's hand the Bowl shook, the Toast dy'd on his tongue; But commanding a Cloud, like a Curtain to fold, He embrac'd her within it, and silenc'd the Scold. In practice, ye Husbands, put Jupiter's plan, And keep your Wives quiet—as well as you can.