EPILOGUE, TO THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL, Spoken by Mrs. ABINGTON in the Character of Lady TEAZLE. June, 1777

I Who was late so volatile and gay, Like a trade-wind, must now blow all one way, Bend all my cares, my studies, and my vows, To one old rusty weather-cock—my spouse; So wills our virtuous Bard! the pye-ball'd Bayes Of crying Epilogues and laughing Plays.

Old bachelors, who marry smart young wives, Learn from our play to regulate your lives! Each bring his dear to town—all faults upon her— London will prove the very source of honour; Plung'd fairly in, like a cold Bath, it serves, When principles relax, to brace the nerves. Such is my case—and yet I must deplore That the gay dream of Dissipation's o'er: And say; ye fair, was ever lively wife, Born with a genius for the highest life, Like me, untimely blasted in her bloom, Like me, condemn'd to such a dismal doom? Save money—when I just knew how to waste it! Leave London—just as I began to taste it! Must I then watch the early-crowing cock? The melancholy ticking of a clock? In the lone rustick hall for ever pounded, With dogs, cats, rats, and squalling brats surrounded? With humble curates can I now retire, (While good Sir Peter boozes with the 'Squire) And at Backgammon mortify my soul, That pants for Lu, or flutters at a Vole? Seven's the Main!—dear Sound!—that must expire, Lost at Hot-Cockles round a Christmas fire! The transient hour of Fashion too soon spent, " Farewell the tranquil mind, farewell content! " Farewell the plumed head, the cushion'd Tête, " That takes the cushion from its proper seat! " The spirit-stirring drum!—card-drums I mean— " Spadille, Odd-trick, Pam, Basto, King and Queen! " And you, ye knockers, that with brazen throat " The welcome visitor's approach denote, " Farewell!—all Quality of high renown, " Pride, Pomp, and circumstance of glorious Town, " Farewell!—your revels I partake no more, " And Lady Teazle's occupation's o'er." —All this I told our Bard; he smil'd, and said 'twas clear I ought to play deep Tragedy next year. Meanwhile he drew wise Morals from his Play, And in these solemn periods stalk'd away. " Blest were the fair, like you her faults who stopt, " And clos'd her follies when the curtain dropt! " No more in vice or error to engage, " Or play the Fool at large on Life's great Stage!"