A Plea For Ponto

[Sir Frederick Banbury moved in the House of Commons:--'That in the opinion of this House no operation for the purpose of vivisection should be performed upon dogs.']

When you're studying the habits Of the germ of German measles, When you're searching out a cure for indigestion, You may practise upon rabbits, Upon guinea-pigs, or weasels, If you think that they throw light upon the question; You may note how bad the bite is Of the microbe of bronchitis, By performing operations upon frogs, But I've yet to hear the mention Of a surgical invention That can justify experiments on DOGS.

I would sooner people perished Of lumbago or swine-fever (Or, at any rate, I'd rather they should chance it!) Than that any hound I cherished From a 'pom' to a retriever, Should be subject to the vivisector's lancet. I know nought of theoretics, But in spite of anaesthetics --Ether, chloroform or other soothing drug-- (Though perhaps I argue wrongly) I should disapprove most strongly, If I found a person puncturing my pug!

If we wish to make a bee-line For the chicken-pox bacillus, From the hen-house there is nothing to debar us; We may learn from creatures feline What the causes are that kill us When we suffer from infirmities catarrhous! But when dogs' insides we study, Then our hands and hearts grow bloody, And we needn't be a crank or partisan To display a strong objection To the so-called vivisection Of that animal we style the Friend of Man!