English poem
Scribblers All!
by Harry Graham (1874–1936)
[In the House of Commons, Lord Claud Hamilton referred to Mr. Birrell as a 'distinguished scribbler.']
Who would be a Man of Letters, Ink on paper daily dribbling, In a fashion which his betters Scornfully describe as 'scribbling'? Who would practise a vocation So unlucrative and painful, To deserve a designation Cruelly disdainful? Pity pen- or pencil-nibblers Labelled as 'distinguished scribblers'!
Sculptors are but seldom branded-- 'Those illustrious plaster-shapers'; Violinists' friends, though candid, Never call them 'catgut-scrapers.' Styling painters 'canvas-scratchers' Would offend against convention; Surgeons as 'appendix-snatchers' Nobody would mention. Who would term Lord Claud's directors 'Guinea-pigs' or 'fee collectors'?
Yet, although no politicians We entitle 'platform-stumpers,' Nor refer to great musicians As 'immortal pedal-thumpers,' Though we name no leading jurist: 'This notorious legal-quibbler,' Ev'ry writer of the purest Prose shall be a 'scribbler,' Till the Gribbles cease to gribble And no more the Whibleys whibble!