If And But

If a man only knew all there was to know Of a fox and his cunning ways; If he knew all the turns of his cunning brain And could beat all the tricks he plays. If he had all the brutal force of an ox, And the tireless strength of the moose; If he could look as meek as a lamb, And as silly as any goose. If his eyes were as keen as an eagle’s, And he could look as sage as an owl; If he were as fierce as a lion, And could terrify with his growl; If he was as stubborn as a pig, And as patient as a mule; If he was as ruthless as a tiger cat, And had the assurance of a fool; If he were quick in danger, slow in wrath, And as coy as a country maid-- Why, then I really do believe He could make a success in TRADE. BUT, as I’m not any or all these things, And have no great love of pelf, I sit here tight in my Government job Quite satisfied with myself; Happy if I can finance my way From one fifteenth to another, And scribble my rhyme any old time And ambition’s promptings smother.