A Domestic Ripple

Some days my Pa is thist so cross ’At Ma, she snaps him off an’ said: “I guess your father must ’a’ got Up on th’ wrong side of th’ bed.” An’ ’en Pa says he’d like to eat Thist bread, he would, in peace once more; An’ Ma, she bu’sts out cryin’ nen An’ Pa goes out an’ slams th’ door-- An’ ’en I git a spankin’!

Thist ’fore he gits his breakfast, Pa He never hardly speaks to us, An’ Ma, she says it shames her so T’ have him go an’ make a fuss Before th’ girl. Pa, he don’t care, An’ ’en he says--“Th’ girl be----!” An’ Ma says--“Oh, t’ think he’d swear Before his child!” Th’ door gits slammed-- An’ ’en I git a spankin’!

An’ ’en, ’em days, th’ littlest things I do ’ll almost drive her wild, An’ she says “Goodness sakes alive! Was ever such another child?” An’ she says: “Do run out an’ play!” An’ thist when I git started, nen She hollers right at me this way: “Willyum! You march right in again!” An’ ’en I git a spankin’!

An’ Pa, he don’t come home to lunch ’Cuz Ma, she says he’s too ashamed To face her after such a scene An’ says she surely can’t be blamed For Pa’s mean, ugly, hateful ways, An’ Ma ain’t got no heart to eat, Nen, thist ’cuz I want honey on My bread, er jam, er sumpin sweet-- Why nen I git a spankin’!

An’ ’en, along ’bout supper time Pa sneaks in thist th’ easiest You ever see; an’ nen he looks For Ma; an’ she’s th’ freeziest ’At ever was. An’ Pa, he’s got Some candy an’ he says he’s ’shamed, An’ fin’ly Ma says mebbe she Was also partly to be blamed, An’ ’en ’at ends my spankin’!