Mylo Jones'S Wife

"Mylo Jones's wife" was all I heerd, mighty near, last Fall-- Visitun relations down T'other side of Morgantown! Mylo Jones's wife she does This and that, and "those" and "thus"!-- Can't 'bide babies in her sight-- Ner no childern, day and night, Whoopin' round the premises-- Ner no nothin' else, I guess!

Mylo Jones's wife she 'lows She's the boss of her own house!-- Mylo--consequences is-- Stays whare things seem some like his,-- Uses, mostly, with the stock-- Coaxin' "Old Kate" not to balk, Ner kick hoss-flies' branes out, ner Act, I s'pose, so much like her! Yit the wimmern-folks tells you She's perfection.--Yes they do!

Mylo's wife she says she's found Home hain't home with men-folks round When they's work like hern to do-- Picklin' pears and butchern, too, And a-rendern lard, and then Cookin' fer a pack of men To come trackin' up the flore She's scrubbed tel she'll scrub no more!-- Yit she'd keep things clean ef they Made her scrub tel Jedgmunt Day!

Mylo Jones's wife she sews Carpet-rags and patches clothes Jest year in and out!--and yit Whare's the livin' use of it? She asts Mylo that.--And he Gits back whare he'd ruther be, With his team;--jest plows--and don't Never sware--like some folks won't! Think ef he'd cut loose, I gum! 'D he'p his heavenly chances some!

Mylo's wife don't see no use, Ner no reason ner excuse Fer his pore relations to Hang round like they allus do! Thare 'bout onc't a year--and she-- She jest ga'nts 'em, folks tells me, On spiced pears!--Pass Mylo one, He says "No, he don't chuse none!" Workin' men like Mylo they 'D ort to have meat ev'ry day!

Dad-burn Mylo Jones's wife! Ruther rake a blame caseknife 'Crost my wizzen than to see Sich a womern rulin' me!-- Ruther take and turn in and Raise a fool mule-colt by hand! Mylo, though--od-rot the man!-- Jest keeps ca'm--like some folks can-- And 'lows sich as her, I s'pose, Is Man's he'pmeet!--Mercy knows!