Written In The Character Of "Sherrard Plummer"

O. Henry, Afrite-chef of all delight!-- Of all delectables conglomerate That stay the starved brain and rejuvenate The mental man. Th' esthetic appetite-- So long anhungered that its "in'ards" fight And growl gutwise,--its pangs thou dost abate And all so amiably alleviate, Joy pats its belly as a hobo might Who haply hath attained a cherry pie With no burnt bottom in it, ner no seeds-- Nothin' but crispest crust, and thickness fit, And squshin'-juicy, and jes' mighty nigh Too dratted drippin'-sweet fer human needs, But fer the sosh of milk that goes with it.