L'Envoi

(The Three in Chorus)

Thurlow, to thee we bend the knee, When law was law, then men were gay, 'Tis down with port and up with tea, Too quickly comes the evil day.

[J] The Court of Chancery was merged in the High Court of Justice in 1875.

[K] In the days of Lord Lyndhurst the old Court of Exchequer had equitable as well as common law jurisdiction.

Com[oe]dia Juris

Est omne jus forense quasi com[oe]dia; Hic advocatus maximas partes agit Laudatus undique a procuratoribus, Labore vocis redditus ditissimus; Cui brevia nil forensis et quaestus valent Silenter ille spectat, at pro præmio Fruitur quietus optime com[oe]dia.

Cases

Cases

MYLWARD v. WELDON

[The plaintiff was committed to the Fleet Prison on Feb. 8, 1596, by order of the Lord Keeper, for drawing a replication of sixscore sheets containing much impertinent matter which might well have been contained in sixteen. On Feb. 10 the Lord Keeper ordered that on the following Saturday the Warden of the Fleet should cut a hole through the replication, and put the plaintiff's head through the hole and let it hang about his shoulders with the written side outwards, and lead the plaintiff bareheaded and barefaced round about Westminster Hall, and show him at the bar of all the courts, and so back to the Fleet.--Abridged from Spence's Equitable Jurisdiction, vol. i. p. 376.]

'Gainst Weldon Mylward files a bill, But doth his replication fill With scandalous and idle matter, That would disgrace the maddest hatter. Woe is me for Mylward!

'Twas sixscore sheets, it might have been Contained, and amply, in sixteen; So after that the court hath risen Must Mylward Fleetward go to prison. Woe is me for Mylward!

And two days afterwards 'tis meet That by the Warden of the Fleet He be led on in slow progression Through every court that sits in session. Woe is me for Mylward!

The pleading writ with words so fair Must Mylward like a tabard wear, A hole therein, the Warden cuts it, A head put through it, Mylward puts it. Woe is me for Mylward!

The bar makes merry at his shame; What careth he? He winneth fame, Three hundred years his reputation Hath rested on that replication. Woe is me for Mylward!

HAMPDEN v. WALSH

(1 Queen's Bench Division, 189)

"Five hundred pounds as stake I'll lay," Says Hampden, "that by such a day No man of science proves to me That earth not flat but round must be; The earth is flat, and flats are they." The sum Walsh holds right willingly; But Wallace by philosophy Proves roundness, and would take away Five hundred pounds.

"Proof me no proofs," quoth Hampden, "Nay, Let Wallace get it if he may, I'll sue Walsh for it." So sues he. "Let Wallace," hold the judges three, "Take nought, let Walsh to Hampden pay Five hundred pounds."

WILLIS v. THE BISHOP OF OXFORD

(2 Probate Division, 192)

Aid me, Muses! my endeavour is to sing a woful song, How a very learned bishop in the Arches Court went wrong. Aid me, for duplex querela is an uninviting theme, And the practice of the Arches raises no poetic dream. 'Tis the Reverend Child Willis, child in name but not in age, Comes he to the Court of Arches burning with a noble rage, Filing his duplex querela, claiming for himself thereby Vicarage of Drayton Parslow, or to know the reason why. "Reason why?" the bishop answers; "that is not so far to seek. Little Latin have you, Willis, innocent are you of Greek. You were specially examined by my good Archdeacon Pott; He reported to me promptly, 'Greek and Latin all forgot, Non idoneus is Willis, minus et sufficiens, He may have a sanum corpus, but he lacks a sana mens.'" "Nay," says Willis, "such an answer is but trifling with the court, I have preached a Latin sermon, and the classics are my forte, You must name the books I failed in, you must give me every chance Of a fresh examination at the hands of Lord Penzance." Lord Penzance supported Willis: "Bishop, you must file," said he, "Some more tangible objection, some less vague and general plea. As it stands I cannot gather what it is you ploughed him in, Whether Hellenistic aorists or the Latin word for sin." But alas! the world has never known as yet what Willis did, In the breast of the Archdeacon still it lies a secret hid. Was his Latin prose defective? Did his style of writing show More resemblance to Tertullian than to Tullius Cicero? Were his dates a little shaky? Could it, could it be that he Confidently made Augustine flourish at a date B.C.? None will know save Pott, Archdeacon, for alas! the patroness Showed no mercy to Child Willis in the day of his distress. She revoked the presentation, leaving Willis in the lurch, One of undisputed learning preached in Drayton Parslow church. Doubly barren was his triumph, it was not a twelve-month ere Death set up his Court of Arches, Willis did not triumph there.

DASHWOOD v. JERMYN

(12 Chancery Division, 776)

Captain Dashwood, who had been In the service of the Queen, Sick of "Eyes front" and "Attention," Came to London on his pension. At the "Portland" as he stayed, Firm the friendship that he made With one William Richards, who Put up at the "Portland" too. Passed six years, then he was wrapped in Love's embraces, vanquished captain! "Yes," he cried, "I will; no bar shall Stop my wedding Edith Marshall." But there was a bar, 'twas that He was poorer than a rat; Indian pensions do not run More than just enough for one. Edith, too, had not a cent, Who would pay the rates and rent? Two more years, and Richards moved (He perchance had sometime loved), Promised them an income clear, 'Twas five hundred pounds a year For his life; when he was dead, Then ten thousand pounds instead. This to Dashwood in a letter Wrote he, deeming it was better They should marry soon while he Lived their happiness to see. 'Twas a modest sum, but marriage May be blest without a carriage, Forty pounds a month and more Keep the wolf from near the door. So they wed for worse or better, On the faith of Richards' letter. Scarcely was a quarter's payment Due when mourning was their raiment. Richards died. Alas! no cash would Find its way to Captain Dashwood. Dashwood's head began to swim-- Not a shilling left to him! "Ha, I'll have it still," cried he; "Justice dwells in Chancery." So the case was straightway taken To the court of V.-C. Bacon. Vainly Dashwood cash expended The executors defended, Claiming that what Richards wrote Was not worth a five-pound note; First because the dead testator Well, not wisely, loved the "cratur," More than that, had often been In delirium tremens seen; Secondly, because he signed When he did not know his mind; Third, because pollicitation Is not good consideration. Law, of justice independent, Gave its judgment for defendant. Poorer than he was at first, That unhappy plaintiff cursed, With a special satisfaction Cursed the day he brought his action. Would that he'd in India tarried! Would that he had never married! He, alas, is tied for life Pauper to a pauper wife, Scarce consoled that on his name Equity reports shower fame, Bearing down to endless ages Dashwood's story on their pages.