Century Magazine/Volume 71/Issue 4/The Testimony

up stepped Reggie Toodlekins, the celebrated whip, Who 's tooled the good coach Tally-ho on many a summer trip; He bowed before the jury and he smiled upon the judge, And when they asked, "Does docking hurt?" he answered them, "Oh, fudge!

I 've driven sixteen hundred steeds and every one was docked,— Indeed, had they been otherwise, e'en they would have been shocked,— And I assure you—'pon my word, I 'll gladly swear to it— I never felt the slightest pain, not e'en a tiny bit!"

Then up rose Pauline Vandergold, the sporting heiress maid. Who gazed upon the jury with a blue eye unafraid. Does docking hurt?" She giggled then. "Excuse me if I smile, But really that 's the funniest thing I 've heard in quite a while.

I 've thirty horses in my stalls, O Mr. Lawyer-man, And banged is every tail of them from Jessie V. to Dan; And though I 've lived among them since 'way back in '93, Not one of all my equine pets has e'er complained to me."

Then up spake Mike O'Shaughnessy, a fresh-faced stable-boy— A corner he in freckles, with a brogue without alloy. Doos dockin' hur-ur-rt? Will, Oi din-naw!" he added with a cough; Oi niver hod a tail mesilf, so no wan 's cut it off.

If Oi'd your job, your honor, judge, a-sittin' in the chair, And yours, O jury gintlemin, a-frownin' over there, Wid such a ca-ase for sittlemint, Oi rather t'ink moi course Would be to l'ave dood witnisses, an' go an' ashk the horse."