_The Master'S Pen--A Confession_

IN my collection famed of curios I have, as every bookman knows, A pen that Thackeray once used. To be amused, I thought I'd "take that pen in hand," And see what came of it--what grand Inspired lines 'twould write, One Sunday night. I dipped it in the ink, And tried to think, "Just what shall I indite?" And do you know, that pen went fairly mad; A dreadful time with it I had. It spluttered, spattered, scratched, and blotted so, I had to give it up, you know. It really wouldn't work for me, And so I put it down; but last night, after tea, I took it up again, And equally in vain. The hours sped; I went to bed, And in my dreams the pen came up to me and said: "Here is the list of Asses who have tried To take up pens the master laid aside; Look thou!" I looked, and lo!--perhaps you've guessed-- My name, like Abou Ben's, led all the rest!