Epitaph On The Same

Beneath this verdant hillock lies Demar, the wealthy and the wise, His heirs, that he might safely rest, Have put his carcass in a chest; The very chest in which, they say, His other self, his money, lay. And, if his heirs continue kind To that dear self he left behind, I dare believe, that four in five Will think his better self alive.

TO MRS. HOUGHTON OF BOURMONT, ON PRAISING HER HUSBAND TO DR. SWIFT

You always are making a god of your spouse; But this neither Reason nor Conscience allows; Perhaps you will say, 'tis in gratitude due, And you adore him, because he adores you. Your argument's weak, and so you will find; For you, by this rule, must adore all mankind.

VERSES WRITTEN ON A WINDOW, AT THE DEANERY HOUSE, ST. PATRICK'S

Are the guests of this house still doom'd to be cheated? Sure the Fates have decreed they by halves should be treated. In the days of good John if you came here to dine, You had choice of good meat, but no choice of good wine. In Jonathan's reign, if you come here to eat, You have choice of good wine, but no choice of good meat. O Jove! then how fully might all sides be blest, Wouldst thou but agree to this humble request! Put both deans in one; or, if that's too much trouble, Instead of the deans, make the deanery double.