A Legend Of St. Valentine.

Come! Why, halloa, that you, Jack? How's the world been using you? Want your pipe? it's in the jar— Think I might be looking blue. Maud's been breaking off with me, Fact—see here—I've got the ring. That's the note she sent it in; Read it—soothing sort of thing. Jack, you know I write sometimes— Must have read some things of mine. Well, I thought I'd just send Maud Something for a valentine. So I ground some verses out In the softest kind of style, Full of love, and that, you know— Bothered me an awful while; Quite a heavy piece of work. So when I had got them done— Why, I thought them much too good Just to waste that way on one. Jack, I told you, didn't I, All about that black-eyed girl Up in Stratford—last July— Oh! you know; you saw her curl? Well, old fellow, she's the one That this row is all about, For I sent her—who'd have thought Maud would ever find it out— Those same verses, word for word— Hang it, man! you needn't roar— "Splendid joke!" well, so I thought— No, don't think so any more. Yesterday, you know it rained, I'd been up late—at a ball— Didn't know what else to do— Went up and made Maud a call, Found some other girl there, too, They were playing a duet. "Fred, my cousin, Nelly Deane,"— Yes, Jack, there was my brunette; You should just have seen me, Jack— Now, old fellow, please don't laugh, I feel bad about it—fact— And I really can't stand chaff. Well, I tried to talk to Maud, There was Nell, though, sitting by; Every now and then she'd laugh, Sure I can't imagine why. Maud would read that beastly poem, Nell's eyes said in just one glance, "Wont I make you pay for this, If I ever get the chance!" Some one came and rang the bell, Just a note for Nell, by post. Jack, I saw my monogram— I'd have rather seen a ghost. Yes—her verses—I suppose That her folks had sent them down— Couldn't get up there, you know— Till she'd left and come to town. Nelly looked them quickly through— Laughed—by Jove, I thought she'd choke. "Maud—he'll kill me—dear! oh, dear!— Read that; isn't it a joke?" Maud glanced through them—sank right down On the sofa—hid her face— "Crying!"—not much—laughing, Jack— Don't think she's a hopeless case. I just grabbed my hat and left— Only wish I'd gone before. How they laughed!—I heard them, Jack— Till I got outside the door. There, confession's done me good, I can never win her back, So I'll calmly let her slide— Pass the ash-cup, will you, Jack.