Twins

(The old Housekeeper speaks)

I’ve seen a good deal in my life. My own story was over you see Pretty young-- But I’ve danced an’ I’ve sung In my day with the best. I’ve been blest With the love of a fine brave man, An’ a babe at my breast. But now that’s all past, An’ I’ve got a good home that’ll last (An annuity too) Till old Mr. Drayton an’ I Get through! What d’ye say? Hmmm-- It’s funny you like to hear me talk, An’ drop in like this on your afternoon walk. Now you want to know--don’t you?-- Yes yes-- -- This last queer thing that’s happened! I guess You’ll like it because you like cats! Well--last night With the fire burnin’ bright I was sittin’ an’ knittin’ An’ watchin’ the kitten An’ the old mother cat. I sat Here; an’ there by the table a-readin’ As usual--a-readin’ as if he was feedin’ His stomach an’ soul, Sat old Mr. Drayton--as droll An’ dried up an old sinner As ever took dinner With his book by his plate, Readin’ early an’ late, With his shinin’ bald head an’ its mole. But he does love a kitten-- An’ likes me here knittin’-- Poor soul! Well all of a sudden the bell rang. I went just as spry as I could But I thought die I should When I opened the door An’ I saw standin’ there In the hall lamp’s red glare Another old Drayton--as like as two peas-- The one at the table behind me a-readin’ An’ here on the step number Two stood--a-kneadin’ His long pointed chin With his skinny old hand. But he says very bland-- A-stickin’ his eye glass up tight in his eye, With the black ribbon danglin’ “My good woman--I Am your master’s twin brother. Mr. Drayton is in?” An’ all I could say like a booby was “Twin? Twin brother--twin brother-- Oh Luddy! Twin? Twin!” Then my Drayton spoke An’ I almost jumped out of my skin-- With his dry old voice Just like an echo-- “I’m in. Twin.” Then he says “Mrs. Beaton! Stay here!” I tell you I felt queer. There they sat by the fire With the table between, Just eyein’ each other-- Twin brother--twin brother-- Both babes of one mother. The old cat humped an’ spit on my knees An’ run off with a sneeze. Then said he--the new Drayton-- “Well Richard she’s dead! Kittie’s dead-- And the last words she said Were ‘Now Rob you make up with him Dear.’ So Richard--I’m here.” But my Drayton sat quiet-- Poor, shrivelled, dear soul With his mole. An’ I noticed the other was lackin’ the mole But otherwise--My! They are certainly twins! “Yes” said Drayton, “You’re in My house, Twin. So she thought Bitter Past Can be sweetened at last! Pretty thin!” An’ the light on his mole Seemed to shrivel his soul. You’d have heard it if I’d dropped a pin. Then they sat an’ they sat an’ they sat. I could see it was flat That somethin’ would have to be done Or there’d nothin’ be won For either. I felt as if maybe we’d sit Till Eternity come Or till I had a fit! For with chins like theirs set-- I was in a cold sweat I can tell you. I took up my knittin’ To just die there--sittin’ When sudden that kitten She just took a glance An’ made one funny prance Up that table at Drayton-- The new one--She put up her paw An’ she patted his danglin’ black ribbon. Oh Law--an’ he had to hold tight To his eyeglass to fix it safe into his eye. Then if she didn’t try To get at it again An’ she sat up an’ blinked In his face for a minute--the man never winked. Then she played with her tail Right under his chin-- Just a gray ball of fur With two eyes an’ a purr. An’ the light that was caught In his great signet ring, She saw that an’ patted it--cute little thing-- An’ she licked all his hand with her little pink tongue, An’ then back to my Drayton As if she’d been stung! A-curlin’ right up on his shoulder an’ purrin’ The only live thing in the room that was stirrin’. Oh I tell you that kitten was more than just--cat! Love was usin’ that kitten, I felt sure of that. Back an’ forth she went playin’ Between those old twins An’ the room still so quiet you might have heard pins A-droppin’. I burst right out. “Luddy” I said “You two men! Why that kitten’s Possessed of the dead! If you could just see yourselves sittin’ up there Like two graven images--each on a chair-- An’ that little kitten a-tryin’ to play With you both--I’m clean crazy! I will go away!” I just shrieked it out an’ they both spoke at once-- “Now now my good woman-- Come don’t be a dunce!” An’ I said “Well I’m neither a dunce nor--a twin! But if there’s names goin’ why I’ll just begin An’ I’ll say you’re twin dunces!” Then sudden I saw Them both smile--at the kitten! It felt like a thaw After ice--up in Greenland.

Oh yes--they’re both well. An’ the comfort they’re takin’ I’ve no words to tell.