English poem
The Psychology Cop
by Oliver Herford (1863–1935)
The New York Police Force is to be instructed in psychology.--_News Item._
One morn, as Robert Ristwatch Rice Sped _Childs_ward for his midday meal, Upon his shoulder, like a vise, He felt a grip of steel.
And in his ear a voice there hissed (With spirits fraught, and crime), And something snapped around his wrist That did not tell the time.
“I’ve pinched yer now!” (devoid of tact Was Sergeant Fay). “For shame! Yer Hun! I caught yer in the act Insultin’ that there dame!
“That skirt there in the showy lid, And muff of classy fur.” “My word!” cried Robert Rice, “I did Not even speak to her.”
“What’s words to me, just froth and foam! I’m a psycholic guy-- I lamp yer thoughts inside yer dome With my subconscious eye!”
“Then you should know,” said Rice, “I’m a MISOGYNIST!”--“By Gee! That settles you!” cried Sergeant Fay; “You come along with me.”