CANTO III. The PASSAGE to Burlington

The morning was fair, and the wind was at west, The flood coming in, and the ladies were drest; At the sign of the Billet we all were to meet, And Snip was the first that appear'd in the street; He strutted along with a mighty brisk air, While Sam and Snipinda walk'd slow in the rear.

DRESS'D, booted, and button'd, and cutting a shine, The Captain came next, with his loaded carbine, Then handed on board the Milliner's maid; The Barber and Ballad-man longer delay'd, For one had some ballads to sing and to play, And one had some beards to take off by the way: At last they arriv'd, and the sailor along, But he was besotted—his dram had been strong: The lawyer Ezekiel was last to appear, And Snip, on the quarter-deck, welcom'd him there.

BUT just as we all were prepar'd to embark, The wind came ahead, and the weather look'd dark; So, while they were busy in hoisting the sails, And trimming close aft, to contend with the gales, Snip wish'd himself home, with his needle and sheers, Then whisper'd the sailor, and told him his fears:— Our seaman advis'd them to take in a reef, As the vessel was light; but the skipper was deaf:— " 'Tis not for myself I'm afraid," said the sailor, " But here's in your care an unfortunate taylor—"

" PEACE, peace, cry'd the skipper, you salt-water gander, At sea you may talk, but here I'm the commander: The worst of all puppies are puppies from sea;— Your top-ropes, and bowlines, are nothing to me; Clue-garnets, and clue-lines, and courses, and stays— I wish, from my heart, they were all in a blaze: Your topmasts, and yards, and your studding sail booms Are sweet pretty things—for the handles of brooms; For your back-stays and braces I care not a pin, Nor when you went out, or when you came in:— Away to the cabbin, and look out a seat, And touch, at your peril, a halyard, or sheet!"—

" YOU ague-cheek'd, cream-colour'd son of a bitch, " Who have sail'd all your life on a fresh-water ditch, " Whose mate (answer'd Billy) might be an old wife, " Who never have rattled a shroud in your life, " Whose guts would come up if a ship were in motion, " Whose barque never look'd at the foam of the ocean, " Whose whole navigation must follow your nose, " Since that is her pilot wherever she goes;— " In sight of your dock you can talk very glib, " But I know what you are by the cut of your jibb.—"

" HOLD your jaw, said the skipper, or else go ashore: Here's a cann of strong grog, if you'll say nothing more."

THEN a storm coming on, we stow'd away snug, And Snip, in the cabbin lay wrapt in a rugg: Snipinda and Sam were inclining to sleep, And the lawyer harangu'd on the risques of the deep, O'Bluster was busy in looking for squalls, And Cynthia discours'd upon dances and balls; And, while the poor Ballad-man gave us a song, The Frenchman complain'd that his stomach was wrong.

OUR travels, at length, in the boat being past, And arriving at Burlington safely at last, While the Quakers came down to welcome us there, And the lads and the lasses, to laugh and to stare, The first thing we did was to settle our fare: To the sign of the Anchor we then were directed, Where Captain O'Keefe a fine turkey dissected, And Billy O'Bluster would give us a jog, And pester'd the ladies to taste of his grog: " Without it (said Billy) I never can dine, " 'Tis better, by far, than your balderdash wine; " It braces the nerves, and it strengthens the brain;— " Without it, the world is a prison of pain, " And MAN, the most wretched of all that are found " To creep in the dust, or to move on the ground!— " It is, of all physic, the best I have seen " To keep out the cold, and to cut up the spleen: " Here, madam—miss Cynthia—'tis good, you'll confess— " Now, taste; or you'll wish you had been in my mess— " With grog, I'm as great as a king on his throne, " The worst of all climates is—where there is none; " New Holland, New Zealand—those islands accurs'd— " Here's a health to the man that invented it first!

NEXT morning, by three, the waggon was geer'd— The Frenchman and I were the first that appear'd: The taylor came next and demanded a dram, Then waken'd Snipinda, and cudgell'd up Sam. All drowsy and lazy, each had his complaint, Snipinda declar'd she was ready to faint, And Cynthia protested, she thought it not right That people should thus be disturb'd in the night; The Frenchman was fretting, and cursing the moon That always was rising or setting too soon; The Lawyer was vext to be rous'd before day, And swore by his docket it was n't fair play; The captain advanc'd with the milliner's maid, "Take care of my bundle, dear captain"—she said; Then, full of importance, stept out in the street, March'd up to the waggon, and took the best seat: The singer of ballads was last in advancing, He had paid for his supper with singing and dancing.