Satan'S Remonstrance[175]

[Occasioned by Mr. Rivington's Late Apology for Lying]

Your golden dreams, your flattering schemes, Alas! where are they fled, Sir? Your plans derang'd, your prospects chang'd, You now may go to bed, Sir.--

How could you thus, my partner dear, Give up the hopes of many a year?-- Your fame retriev'd, and soaring high, In Truth's resemblance seem'd to fly; But now you grow so wondrous wise, You turn, and own that all is lies.

A fabric that from hell we rais'd, On which astonish'd rebels gaz'd, And which the world shall ne'er forget, No less than Rivington's Gazette, Demolish'd at a single stroke-- The angel Gabriel might provoke.

"That all was lies," might well be true, But why must this be told by you? Great master of the wooden head, Where is thy wonted cunning fled? It was a folly to engage That truth henceforth should fill your page, When you must know, as well as I, Your only mission is to lie.

Such are the plans which folly draws-- We now, like bears, may suck our paws;-- Brought up in lying from your youth, You should have dy'd a foe to truth, Since none but fools in this accord, That Virtue is its own reward.

Your fortune was as good as made, Great artist in the lying trade! But now I see with grief and pain Your credit cannot rise again: No more the favourite of my heart, No more will I my gifts impart.

Yet something shall you gain at last For lies contriv'd in seasons past-- When pressing to the narrow gate I'll show the portal mark'd by Fate, Where all mankind (as parsons say) Are apt to take the wider way, And, though the Royal Printer swear, Will bolt him in, and keep him there!

First published in the Freeman's Journal, August 7, 1782, with the note, "See the Royal Gazette of the 10th ult. and our last." The article in the Royal Gazette is as follows:

"To the Public:

"The Publisher of this paper, sensible that his zeal for the success of his Majesty's arms, his sanguine wishes for the good of his country and his friendship for individuals, have at times led him to credit and circulate paragraphs without investigating the facts so closely as his duty to the public demanded, trusting to their feelings and depending on their generosity, he begs them to look over past errors and depend on future correctness, for henceforth he will neither desire nor expect nor solicit their favors longer than his endeavors shall stamp the same degree of authenticity and credit on the Royal Gazette (of N. Y.) as all Europe allow to the Royal Gazette of London."

The Freeman's Journal reprinted this on July 31, with the comment: "From hence it is to be presumed that Satan, Rivington & Co. have thoughts of breaking up partnership." The text follows the edition of 1786.

This stanza, printed in the edition of 1786, was omitted from the later editions.