Tobacco

[Supposed to be written by a Young Beginner]

This Indian weed, that once did grow On fair Virginia's fertile plain, From whence it came--again may go, To please some happier swain: Of all the plants that Nature yields This, least beloved, shall shun my fields.

In evil hour I first essayed To chew this vile forbidden leaf, When, half ashamed, and half afraid, I touched, and tasted--to my grief: Ah me! the more I was forbid, The more I wished to take a quid.

But when I smoaked, in thought profound, And raised the spiral circle high, My heart grew sick, my head turned round-- And what can all this mean, (said I)-- Tobacco surely was designed To poison, and destroy mankind.

Unhappy they, whom choice, or fate Inclines to prize this bitter weed; Perpetual source of female hate; On which no beast--but man will feed; That sinks my heart, and turns my head, And sends me, reeling, home to bed!

edition of 1809.