AMERICAN BALLADS

Have you heard of Philip Slingsby, Slingsby of the manly chest; How he slew the Snapping Turtle In the regions of the West?

Every day the huge Cawana Lifted up its monstrous jaws; And it swallowed Langton Bennett, And digested Rufus Dawes.

Riled, I ween, was Philip Slingsby, Their untimely deaths to hear; For one author owed him money, And the other loved him dear.

"Listen now, sagacious Tyler, Whom the loafers all obey; What reward will Congress give me, If I take this pest away?"

Then sagacious Tyler answered, "You're the ring-tailed squealer! Less Than a hundred heavy dollars Won't be offered you, I guess!

"And a lot of wooden nutmegs In the bargain, too, we'll throw— Only you just fix the critter. Won't you liquor ere you go?"

Straightway leaped the valiant Slingsby Into armour of Seville, With a strong Arkansas toothpick Screwed in every joint of steel.

"Come thou with me, Cullen Bryant, Come with me, as squire, I pray; Be the Homer of the battle Which I go to wage to-day."

So they went along careering With a loud and martial tramp, Till they neared the Snapping Turtle In the dreary Swindle Swamp.

But when Slingsby saw the water, Somewhat pale, I ween, was he. "If I come not back, dear Bryant, Tell the tale to Melanie!

"Tell her that I died devoted, Victim to a noble task! Han't you got a drop of brandy In the bottom of your flask?"

As he spoke, an alligator Swam across the sullen creek; And the two Columbians started, When they heard the monster shriek;

For a snout of huge dimensions Rose above the waters high, And took down the alligator, As a trout takes down a fly.

"'Tarnal death! the Snapping Turtle!" Thus the squire in terror cried; But the noble Slingsby straightway Drew the toothpick from his side.

"Fare thee well!" he cried, and dashing Through the waters, strongly swam: Meanwhile, Cullen Bryant, watching, Breathed a prayer and sucked a dram.

Sudden from the slimy bottom Was the snout again upreared, With a snap as loud as thunder,— And the Slingsby disappeared.

Like a mighty steam-ship foundering, Down the monstrous vision sank; And the ripple, slowly rolling, Plashed and played upon the bank.

Still and stiller grew the water, Hushed the canes within the brake; There was but a kind of coughing At the bottom of the lake.

Bryant wept as loud and deeply As a father for a son— "He's a finished 'coon, is Slingsby, And the brandy's nearly done!"