English poem
GOOD-BY BILL
by Ring Lardner
Dollar Bill, that I've held so tight Ever since payday, a week ago, Shall I purchase with you tonight A pair of seats at the vaudeville show? (Hark! A voice from the easy chair: "Look at his shoes! We must buy a pair.")
Dollar Bill, from the wreckage saved, Tell me, how shall I squander you? Shall I be shined, shampooed and shaved, Singed and trimmed 'round the edges, too? (Hark! A voice from the easy chair: "He hasn't a romper that's fit to wear.")
Dollar Bill, that I cherished so, Think of the cigarettes you'd buy, Turkish ones, with a kick, you know; Makin's eventually tire a guy. (Hark! A voice from the easy chair: "Look at those stockings! Just one big tear!")
Dollar Bill, it is time to part. What do I care for a vaudeville show? I'll shave myself and look just as smart. Makin's aren't so bad, you know. Dollar Bill, we must say good-by; There on the floor is the Reason Why.
More by Ring Lardner
- George K. Schmidt: Banker and Member Board of Assessors, Chicago
- George Plant: Manager Stillson’s, Chicago
- George W. Reed: Vice-President Peabody Coal Co., Chicago
- George W. Sheehan: Pres. Central Sugar Co., Chicago
- GUESS AGAIN
- Guilford S. Wood: Railway Supplies, Chicago
- Guy Bates Post: Actor, New York City
- H. H. Blum: Dealer in Women’s Wear, Chicago