Patriotism, a Mock-heroic

In the Recess of something like a Tomb, Which Architecture, (sick of Greece and Rome, And copying what never was at all,) Is pleas'd to christen an Egyptian Hall; Our Goddess, whom She sought, at length survey'd, In anti-kingly Majesty array'd. Busy she found Him in this solemn place, At solemn Sacrifice, with solemn Face. He but to Commerce scorn'd to pour a Pray'r, No other Deity employ'd his Care; All other Altars stood inconsecrate, For her's no Offering was too pure or great.

Of solid Gold, and of enormous size, Yet not so big her Belly as her Eyes, She stood; and seem'd as she would hide the Globe Beneath the Drap'ry of her flowing Robe. Fast by, with full Extent of Gullet grac'd, Her Attribute, the Cormorant, was plac'd.

The Victims He had taken Care to cull, All without Blemish, all of blackest Wool, All newly bought, all newly flay'd alive, A Decatomb, of Negro Slaves twice five. He on their reeking Muscles, red and blue, Sharp Vinegar, with Salt and Pepper, threw; They writh with Pain convolv'd. As when to cram Some Citizen's unfathomable Wem, The Turtle, riven with his Mail, poor Fish! Perceives himself begin to grow a Dish; Convuls'd, each undulating Fibre plays In Waves of Agony a thousand ways. So fixt the inextinguishable Soul, That dress'd, perhaps he feels thy teeth, K * *.

The Goddess, no Confusion to create, Impatient as she was, thought fit to wait: Civilities are ne'er so duly paid To any Folks, as when we want their Aid. The Ceremony, with Observance meek She 'tended, and when done, began to speak.

"O Thou! for whom and from whom I was form'd, "Whose Counsel moulded, and whose Spirit warm'd, "To whom originally 'tis I owe "These purple Honours, which around me glow, "To Thee I come my Sorrows to impart; "Rest shuns these Eyes, and Care corrodes this Heart: "Do thou assist, in this Conjunction nice, "Me and the Party with thy sage Advice. "Thus far, indeed, Success has crown'd our Arms, "BUTE quits; nor shaken with our fierce Alarms, "For who our Roar and Riot would regard, "That in his Conscience seeks for his Reward? "But that the honest Fool had fix'd before "To make his fav'rite Peace, and throw up Pow'r. "When he like Phineas in the Gap had stood, "To save the People, and had staunch'd their Blood, "He knew how incompatible must prove, "To serve them, yet retain their fickle Love. "While we play'd safe, Dupe of Benevolence! "He stop'd the Plague, and at his own Expence, "For public Quiet, yielding up that Rein "We quitted, only to resume again. "But what are we the better than before? "Our empty Niches know us all no more; "Still the State Truncheon flys our eager Grasp, "And Calumny is at its latest Gasp. "What to do next! Insult can do no more, "Higher than Forty-five it cannot soar, "Where, to full Pitch of sturdy Vigour grown, "It fairly gives the Lye home to the T—e: "Nothing remains which farther we can drive, "Or Forty-eight comes next to Forty-five.

"Then shall we idly sit, hand-cuff'd and dumb, "And let Truth work, and purge away the Scum "We have fermented? let the Dross deject, "Till its clear Bosom shall all Heav'n reflect? "Forbid it Fate! forbid it ev'ry Boast "We've made to ruin, or to rule the Roast!

"We must and will have All; but how to seize, "To spill the Cyder, or cut down the Trees, "More Suits at Law commence, more Papers write, "To give more Dinners, and more Guests invite, "Or the deep, fatal Train to touch with Flame, "And fire all Aylesbury and Buckingham, "I come to ask; thy Counsel be my Guide." She said, and FACTION to her thus reply'd.

"To raise the Mob by Master-Strokes of Art, "Inflame the Passions, and mislead the Heart, "Make happy Subjects surfeit on their Ease, "Repine at Blessings, and grow sick of Peace,— "To pour the Multitude which way we list, "And ere they're injur'd, set them to resist, "Halloo them on, to roar with frantic Zeal, "Against Oppressions which no Soul can feel, "Till they desire to spill their desp'rate Lives, "For Printers' 'Prentices' Prerogatives;— "To bid a little River flow along "The sole Criterion to know Right from Wrong, "With ev'ry Lash of Infamy impel "The farther Side, because it won't rebel,— "On all who dare imply we do amiss, "Point ready Obloquy's insulting Hiss; "Hold up, in whomsoe'er we disapprove, "(And that means all who share their Master's Love) "Virtue or Genius, like th' Athenian Owl, "To the blunt Peck of ev'ry other Fowl; "All the Humanity of BUTE to blot, "And all thy Candour, MANSFIELD, sink in Scot;— "Recast the Royal Virtues, which before "The Nation worshipp'd, and cry down the Ore, "To teach the People this indulgent Reign, "With ev'ry Charge of Tyranny to stain, "To swallow any Contradiction down, "In Antonine's mild Look fear Nero's Frown, "Wrest his Intention, and distort each Fact, "And lend them Treason till they long to act— "The Prince against his Counsellors to move, "And while we only seem to beg, reprove, "In Terms of Duty wrap each boist'rous Deed, "Kneel while we stab, and libel while we plead, "FACTION has Pow'r; nay, has already done, "And yet but little of our Course we've run, "Much still remains; and we must tug and strive "Ere the great Days of Anarchy revive: "A watchful Eye is over all our Game, "And while it seems to wink, but takes its Aim.

"Oh! had but Fate to HALIFAX decreed "His Seat of Birth on t'other Side the Tweed! "Had some bleak Shire, of Penury the Reign, "More starv'd than Famine's Prophecy can feign, "But giv'n him Title, in the gen'ral Ban, "We with the Country, had o'erwhelm'd the Man; "There like Enceladus he'd lain oppress'd, "With half an Island bearing on his Breast.

"But now, upon so high a Basis plac'd, "We're forc'd to leave his Merit undefac'd; "Out of our Reach, and mocking of our Aim, "The perfect Statue rests without a Maim. "But could we hope his Virtues to decry, "And shew them blighted to the People's Eye; "Would not Iërne all their Bloom renew, "And call the blushing Honours fresh in View? "Recount, how Lenity to Prudence join'd "Shone the Reflexion of his Sender's Mind; "How form'd to win by ev'ry honest Art, "Bless'd by each Voice, and Lord of ev'ry Heart; "Yet, when a Nation press'd him to receive "All that a Nation's Gratitude could give, "The strong Allure of Int'rest he withstood, "Above Reward, and paid by, doing good?

"Here then we stick; but still of Hope a Gleam "Points thro' the dusky Thought its trembling Beam, "The Deities, from Heav'n self-exil'd, meet "At a grand Council, and a grander Treat, "To-morrow. Such AMBITION'S high Behest, "And FOLLY does the Honours of the Feast. "Be there, the best Advice sure to receive, "If Multitude of Counsellors can give: "Till then beneath this Roof remain my Guest, "'Tis Break of Day, and Time to go to rest.

So saying, her Attendants she bid spread For her great Visitant the lofty Bed. And first the Fox's Skin began the Pile, Next of the Bear was spread the shaggy Spoil, And over that the Lion's tawny Hide Finish'd the whole for disappointed PRIDE. There ev'ry Pore, as she extended laid, Imbib'd Instruction from the mystic Bed.