English poem
Ii
by Thomas Hardy
“Yet came it, to my gladness, That, as vowed, He did return.—But sadness Swiftly cowed The job with which my greeting was endowed.
“Some woe was there. Estrangement Marked his mind. Each welcome-warm arrangement I had designed Touched him no more than deeds of careless kind.
“‘I—failed!’ escaped him glumly. ‘—I went on In my old part. But dumbly— Memory gone— Advancing, I sank sick; my vision drawn
“‘To something drear, distressing As the knell Of all hopes worth possessing!’ . . . —What befell Seemed linked with me, but how I could not tell.
“Hours passed; till I implored him, As he knew How faith and frankness toward him Ruled me through, To say what ill I had done, and could undo.
“‘Faith—frankness. Ah! Heaven save such!’ Murmured he, ‘They are wedded wealth! I gave such Liberally, But you, Dear, not. For you suspected me.’
“I was about beseeching In hurt haste More meaning, when he, reaching To my waist, Led me to pace the hall as once we paced.
“‘I never meant to draw you To own all,’ Declared he. ‘But—I saw you— By the wall, Half-hid. And that was why I failed withal!’
“‘Where? when?’ said I—‘Why, nigh me, At the play That night. That you should spy me, Doubt my fay, And follow, furtive, took my heart away!’
“That I had never been there, But had gone To my locked room—unseen there, Curtains drawn, Long days abiding—told I, wonder-wan.
“‘Nay, ’twas your form and vesture, Cloak and gown, Your hooded features—gesture Half in frown, That faced me, pale,’ he urged, ‘that night in town.
“‘And when, outside, I handed To her chair (As courtesy demanded Of me there) The leading lady, you peeped from the stair.
“Straight pleaded I: ‘Forsooth, Love, Had I gone, I must have been in truth, Love, Mad to don Such well-known raiment.’ But he still went on
“That he was not mistaken Nor misled.— I felt like one forsaken, Wished me dead, That he could think thus of the wife he had wed!
“His going seemed to waste him Like a curse, To wreck what once had graced him; And, averse To my approach, he mused, and moped, and worse.
“Till, what no words effected Thought achieved: It was my wraith—projected, He conceived, Thither, by my tense brain at home aggrieved.
“Thereon his credence centred Till he died; And, no more tempted, entered Sanctified, The little vault with room for one beside.”