The Hidden Purpose

I was weary and faint with temptation and trial, For the prayers I had made had but met with denial, And the slow-coming doubt, which had once hardly found In my heart a mean place, was now strong and profound.

And my soul was in anguish, for suffering keen, And intense disappointment, too often had been New prepared for my portion, till now, as I lay By new sorrow re-stung, all my faith passed away.

Then a curse on my lips rose, and darkly I swore That the God who had led me should lead me no more; His existence was doubtful, but, if He should be, He had been but a God of vindiction to me.

So I vowed that henceforward the path that I trod Should be chosen by me, and not ordered by God; And relief seemed to greet my resolve as I lay, All in sleeplessness, waiting the breaking of day.

But as quiet I lay, and thought o'er my decision, All my wakefulness passed, and I saw in a vision, By my side standing closely, an Angel of Light, Clothed in shining apparel resplendently bright.

And I lay there all trembling in fear as I lay, Till with beckoning finger he led me away; Then I rose and went forth in the darkness of night, And, still trembling, I followed that Angel of Light.

And I followed him on till he paused in his flight Where a Christian lay sleeplessly passing the night; And I heard him repeat as he lay on his bed, "My paths are divided, Lord, which shall I tread?"

And I saw that the one led to glory and fame, While the other fulfilled not his heart-cherished aim; But the scales of mortality darkened his eye, And the thing I saw plainly he could not descry.

Then the Angel breathed o'er him, and light seemed to break O'er his soul, and he saw then the path he should take. Then his spirit was eased, and sweet sleep o'er him came, For he thought this would lead him to glory and fame.

But I saw that the path he had chosen that day Would lead him from glory and fame far away; But I saw, too, that, were he not led in this path, The love of the world would have shaken his faith.

For his pride, swelling high in the glory of gain, Would have led him from God to things sinful and vain. But his trouble would lead him to God now for rest; And I saw that the plan of his Maker was best.

Then the Angel went forth, and I followed him still, Thus impelled by the force of his Heavenly will, Till he stayed where two lovers stood breathing their vows, With the fondness that love and deep passion arouse.

Then he put forth his hand, and he pointed in wrath; And the fever-fiend rose with a horrible laugh. But the man felt him not as he poisoned his blood, And the woman saw nought as still smiling she stood.

But I knew that that meeting was surely their last, For the shadow of death on the man was now cast. And my heart could but pity the woman, whose pain I yet knew would redound to her infinite gain.

For deception and falsity deep in the heart Of the man were writ large, and there truth had no part; And the pain of her mourning was nought when compared With the agony he would have caused her, if spared.

Quickly onward then hasted the Angel of God, And I still followed close in the steps that he trod; And I saw, when his flight was arrested again, That we stood where an infant lay tossing in pain.

And the mother, with tear-laden eyes, kneeling there, Sought relief from her trouble in heart-broken prayer, As she cried unto God, in a piteous tone, That He would not deny her the life of her son.

And the Angel himself breathed a sorrowful sigh, And I thought that a tear glistened bright in his eye, As he stretched forth his hand, and commanded the soul Of the child to ascend to its Heavenly goal.

Then I heard a loud cry of distress on the air, And I saw the lone mother lie grief-stricken there; And the tears of compassion flowed fast from my eyes, Though I knew that God's action was kindly and wise.

For disease on the child had imprinted its stain, And his life would have been but a long-endured pain, Had his Father not early exerted His might, And thus called the young soul to the Kingdom of Light.

Then the scene seemed to melt in the darkness away, And again on the couch in my chamber I lay. And the Angel of God by my side again stood; And he gazed on me sadly and said, "God is good."

Then I saw him no more, but with morn I awoke And remembered the words that the Angel had spoke; And the scenes of the vision, repictured again, Passed before me, and brought me a balm for my pain.

For I knew that my God had not called me in vain To temptation and trial, and I would not complain; But with gladness I went forth anew to the strife, Knowing now that my Father was guiding my life.