To BEATRICE

Since, Beatrice, you've undertaken To save a sland'rous culprit's bacon, (A culprit of guilt's blackest roll, and Unprincipled as Jemmy Bolland.) By telling us how, where, and when Dan GARRICK has ill-treated KEN; Give me, good dame, I humbly crave you, A hearing for my fav'rite Davy; I've my objections—let me start 'em— The rule is, "audi alteram partem."

Some years ago an honest fellow, As ever with sheer sack was mellow, Who long has plac'd his hopes, his all, in The gains of histrionic calling, Who now is journeyman, now master, (Oh may he never meet disaster! Was offer'd, for the truth ask KEN of it— Jack Falstaff's Wedding for his benefit. LOVE, who at genius is no scoffer, Makes KEN a bow, accepts his offer. The piece was play'd—the audience claw'd it? Not they; nor did they much applaud it. But as it 'scap'd the trial ordeal, To K—k's spirits 'twas a cordial. He bounc'd, look'd big, and swell'd: his vanity Was not to be restrain'd by any tie: He swore his comedy might claim a Precedence in the British drama: Its flights so high, its wit so attic, 'Twou'd crown him king of bards dramatic. Happy for KEN had Drury's sultan Esteem'd his bantling an adult one! But—fatal to the sale of tickets! He said the child had got the rickets; Tho' some few features in't were sprightly, Yet altogether 'twas unsightly. Howe'er to soften KEN's displeasure, For disappointed same and treasure, He charitably stood his patron, And brought him out the Widow'd Matron, Than Falstaff's Wedding heavier bruited, Yet to the reigning taste more suited. Some years elaps'd, the doughty KEN Applies to Drury's Chief again: He shook his head, and screw'd his phyz hard, (The Widow'd Wife stuck in his gizzard) "Must I, (cries he) place in my list "A waspish Epigrammatist? "Accept his trash, and be the cully "Of such a snarling, scribbling bully? "I've had enough of this same squire; "A burnt child ever dreads the fire." KEN vow'd revenge, made same his Pandar; Hell shudder'd at the horrid slander. Thus, Beatrice, have I unfolded (And fairly too, I will uphold it) The cause of quarrel literary, 'Twixt Kenrick and renowned Garry. But were the Manager's behaviour (As you relate) in KEN's disfavour, Pray could it justify to true sage Your rancorous friend's informal usage? In the next term, at least in Hilary, I hope your friend will grace the pillory: And, as he has prepar'd the Suds, My wish is, the plebean bloods May recompence the scribbling adder, By giving him a hearty lather.