BALLAD. (Dear John prithee tell me, cried Ruth)

Dear John prithee tell me, cried Ruth, To Gubbins, her husband, one day, Dost not think, in good sooth, I should swear but the truth Did I swear what I'm going to say?

That wedlock's a state, In good humour, that fate Contriv'd to bless woman and man, And that Giles here's an ass, Who such fortune lets pass? All should marry as soon as they can.

Why Goody, cried Gubbins, you know My thoughts of the thing 'fore to day, Nor, as I shall shew, Need one many miles go To prove what I'm going to say.

Did wives ever scold, Were they ugly, or old, A spouse were a miserable man: But smooth is their tongue, They're all comely and young! Giles get married as soon as you can.

If one's children one wish'd in their graves, Still plaguing one day after day, The girls fashion's slaves, The boys puppies and knaves, One then might have something to say;

But brats are no evil, They ne'er play the devil, Nor have wives from their duty e'er ran, Then since, my friend Giles, Wedlock greets you with smiles, Get married as soon as you can.

Cried Ruth, will you let your tongue run? Here you scurvy old villain I rule! Rogues there are, said the son, But, old Quiz, am I one? Cried the daughter, my father's a fool!

Don't you see, Gubbins cried, I've the tenderest bride, And best children that ever blest man! Giles, would you be driven To bedlam or heaven, Get married as soon as you can!