English poem
Childish Complaints
by Harry Graham (1874–1936)
No. 1 (Appendicitis)
I've got Appendicitis In my Appendicit, But I don't mind, Because I find I'm quite 'cut out' for it.
No. 2. (Whooping-cough)
If only I had Whooping-cough! I'd join a Circus troupe! And folks would clamour at the door, And pay a shilling--even more, To see me 'Whoop The Whoop.'
No. 3. (Measles)
Of illnesses like chickenpox And measles I've had lots; I do not like them much, you know, They are not really nice, altho' They're rather nice in spots.
No. 4. (Adenoids)
A Cockney maid produced such snores, Folks left the City to avoid them; And all becos, She said, it was Her adenoids that 'ad annoyed them!
No. 5. (Croup)
I had the Croup, in years gone by, And that is why to-day, Altho' no longer youthful, I Am still a Croupier.