An Alphabet of Celebrities

=A='s =A=lbert Edward, well meaning but flighty, Who invited King =A=rthur, the blameless and mighty, To meet =A=lcibiades and =A=phrodite. =B= is for =B=ernhardt, who fails to awaken Much feeling in =B=ismarck, =B=arabbas, and =B=acon. =C= is =C=olumbus, who tries to explain How to balance an egg—to the utter disdain Of =C=onfucius, =C=arlyle, =C=leopatra, and =C=ain. =D='s for =D=iogenes, =D=arwin, and =D=ante, Who delight in the dance Of a =D=arling Bacchante. =E= is for =E=dison, making believe He's invented a clever contrivance for =E=ve, Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve. =F= is for =F=ranklin, who fearfully shocks The feelings of =F=enelon, =F=aber, and =F=ox. =G= is =G=odiva, whose great bareback feat She kindly but firmly declines to repeat, Though =G=ounod and =G=oldsmith implore and entreat. =H= is for =H=andel, who pours out his soul Through the bagpipes to =H=owells and =H=omer, who roll On the floor in an ecstasy past all control. =I= is for =I=bsen, reciting a play While =I=rving and =I=ngersoll hasten away. =J= is for =J=ohnson, who only says "Pish!" To =J=onah, who tells him his tale of a fish. =K= is the =K=aiser, who kindly repeats Some original verses to =K=ipling and =K=eats. =L= is =L=afontaine, who finds he's unable To interest =L=uther and =L=iszt in his fable, While =L=oie continues to dance on the table. =M= is =M=acduff, who's prevailed upon =M=ilton And =M=ontaigne and =M=anon to each try a kilt on. =N= is =N=apoleon, shrouded in gloom, With =N=ero, =N=arcissus, and =N=ordau, to whom He's explaining the manual of arms with a broom. =O= is for =O=liver, casting aspersion On =O=mar, that awfully dissolute Persian, Though secretly longing to join the diversion. =P= is for =P=eter, who hollers "No! No!" Through the keyhole to =P=aine, =P=aderewski, and =P=oe. =Q= is the =Q=ueen, so noble and free— For further particulars look under V. =R='s =R=ubenstein, playing that old thing in F To =R=ollo and =R=embrandt, who wish they were deaf. =S= is for =S=winburne, who, seeking the true, the good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo, Where he chances on =S=appho and Mr. =S=ardou, And =S=ocrates, all with the same end in view. =T= is for =T=alleyrand toasting Miss =T=ruth, By the side of her well, in a glass of vermouth, And presenting Mark =T=wain as the friend of his youth. =U= is for =U=ndine, pursuing =U=lysses And =U=mberto, who flee her damp, death-dealing kisses. =V= is =V=ictoria, noble and true— For further particulars look under Q. =W='s =W=agner, who sang and played lots for =W=ashington, =W=esley, and good Doctor =W=atts. His prurient plots pained =W=esley and =W=atts, But =W=ashington said he "enjoyed them in spots." =X= is =X=antippe, who's having her say, And frightening the army of =X=erxes away. =Y= is for =Y=oung, the great Mormon saint, Who thinks little =Y=um =Y=um and =Y=vette so quaint, He has to be instantly held in restraint. =Z= is for =Z=ola, presenting La Terre To =Z=enobia the brave and =Z=uleika the fair, Whose blushes they artfully conceal with their hair.