To the New One

Some people think it is a shame That Barbara is not your name. Well, let them worry if they will; Between us two, I’m glad you’re Phil.

If you were Barbara, I know You’d cost your dad a lot more dough, And when you maried, it would be Like last night’s second round—on me.

And who’d expect a girl to fix The furnace, or get up at six And, in the well known early dawn, Hoe garden or massage the lawn?

I guess it’s tough on you, old head For some day you must earn your bread. You’ll have to work, you’ll have to save, And, worst of all, you’ll have to shave.

You’ll have to take some licking, too, For Brother John will pick on you. But p’rhaps you’ll grow to look like dad, So cheer up, kid, life’s not so bad.