Urgent Private Affairs

Dear Captain Green,—This morning, I see, The Gazette good news for you bears:— "On leave for six months to proceed to sea On urgent private affairs."

"To sea" forsooth! Pray what does this mean? There's surely some mystery here? "On urgent private affairs."—O Green, This sounds uncommonly queer!

Affairs at sea? Ha!—I see through it now! Sly dog, you're in luck without doubt!— Some coy little mermaid you chanced to know And hooked on your voyage out?

O happy Green, is she blonde or brunette? Has she golden or raven tresses? But will walking on land suit the tail of your pet? I hope she judiciously dresses!

Her name? Is she young? Of course she can speak? Does she wear her long hair in curls? I trust she has got no scales on her cheek? Are you marrying for love or for pearls?

I suppose Father Neptune will give her away? I assure you, you have my best wishes. I remain, yours,—C. P.S.—By the way, My Salaams to all your Friend-Fishes.

Herewith I send, of my friendship a token, A tortoise-shell comb from Galle; A pocket mirror not easily broken, A harp, and a squeaking doll.

In conclusion, dear Green, I may add that I wish I knew some sweet sub-marine girls: I have no objections to marrying fish— Provided they've plenty of pearls.