Hans Begins To Wonder

April, 1915

I vonder if dot's nefer so, Shaymeezle Russia take. You can't pelieve von half you know, Such lies dose papers make.

I vonder if dose tales are true, Ve lose most all our ships, Our colonies and commerce too; I hear tings mit my lips.

I vonder if dose Dardanelles, Can shtop der allied fleet, Somedimes to me dere's someting tells, Maype dose Turks get peat.

I vonder, too, if Italy Vill give to us der bump, Shoost now she's vaiting yet to see Vichway der cat vill yump.

I vonder can our army shtop Dose Russian teufels' raid, Or vill dey gain de mountain top Or fail to make de grade.

I vonder if dot Balkan bunch, Und Greece und Holland too, Should give us britty soon de punch, Vot vill der Kaiser do.

I vonder vere der Kaiser shtays Mit all dose poys of his, You pet, dey keep a goot long vays From vere de bullets whiz.

I vonder if dot kultur's goot, Sometimes it is, no doubt, But ven it comes to daily foodt I luf der saur-kraut.

I vonder if ve all get stung, Like vot de Yankees say; Der Kaiser maype yet get hung, If ve don't vin de day.

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Mine gracious! vot is dat I say? No von, I hope, don't hear; Dose spies vould sell mine life away For von goot drink of peer.