The 'Waster'

['I think that in certain respects the 'Waster' is one of the great forces of Empire; it is in him that the spirit of the Elizabethan gentleman adventurer survives most vigorously. To me the waster is a peculiarly English product; in many respects he appeals to me more than any one in the community.'--Sir HERBERT TREE.]

When others praise the pious, My own response is faint; I feel no morbid bias In favour of the saint. My paeans, rather, let me raise To laud the 'Waster' and his ways!

I love to watch my hero, As through the streets he struts, With loud 'Pip! Pip!' or 'Cheer Oh!' Greeting his fellow-Nuts, And haunting ev'ry public bar To cadge a cocktail or cigar!

Each Saturday, at Brighton, How well he plays the role Of Admirable Crichton, At Grand or Metropole! The British Lion's whelp, indeed, True scion of the Bulldog Breed!

The 'unco guid' may censure, The prudes their eyebrows raise; His passion for adventure Recalls those spacious days When Britain's flag, from sea to sea, Was borne by 'Wasters' such as he!

And soon 'twill be his mission, When fall'n on evil times, To bear the old tradition To far Colonial climes; The seeds of Empire there he'll sow. Meanwhile, I wish to Heav'n he'd go!